


Malvin & Geir

by Unhinged



Category: Ylvis
Genre: Cats, Fluff, Gen, Prompt Fill, slightly AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-06
Updated: 2014-03-06
Packaged: 2018-01-14 19:07:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1277572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unhinged/pseuds/Unhinged
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bård doesn't understand the appeal of cats.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Malvin & Geir

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt fill for:
> 
> Vegard living alone with his two cats, Malvin and Geir, just going about and being cute with them and talking to them as if they were little children. Bård comes to visit and mocks Vegard for living alone with them(which he hates and wants nothing to do with), but when he sees that Vegard gets hurt, he awkwardly tries to make it up to him. bro feels or incest idc but i really like the idea that they end up both asleep on the couch and bård resists the urge to kick away the cats away from him.

Bård thought it was embarrassing and stupid, but his partner had insisted. He hadn't wanted an argument, so here he was, standing behind Vegard's door with a microwaveable container full of home-made lasagne. It really was ridiculous though: Bård was sure that if his brother had really seemed kind of down and lonely lately, he would've noticed it. But when faced with 'female intuition', Bård was helpless and could only obey. He rang the doorbell.

"Hey!" Vegard said after opening the door. He had one of his cats in his arms.

"Is that your baby?" Bård asked, voice full of amused scorn.

Vegard turned his head and backed off to allow Bård to enter the apartment, thus blocking Bård's view of his face.

"What brings you here?"

"I was told to deliver this. It's food," Bård replied and handed the container over. Vegard took it and this time Bård had an unblocked view of his brother's face. He had to look away when he saw how touched he was.

"Uhh, thanks. You want a drink?"

"Sure," Bård said and sat down on Vegard's sofa. He had also been told to spend some time with his brother. Bård had tried to argue that they had seen each other every day at work for the entire summer, but his arguments had been ignored.

It was late August and the brothers were in between jobs. They had a television gig coming up later that year, but for a couple of months, they were on holiday. Bård had enjoyed the time immensely. He was busy with renovating his house and spending time with his family and friends. Now that he thought about it, it had probably been a week or maybe even two since he had last seen his brother. Bård had no idea what Vegard got up to in his spare time. From the looks of it, he was hanging around his apartment in sweat pants and a t-shirt two sizes too big for him, carrying his cats around like babies.

"Mom's invited us over for dinner on Sunday," Bård said from the living room area. Vegard was in the kitchen putting his food in the fridge and getting out cans of Pepsi for them.

"They have some friends coming over too and they want us to behave ourselves," Bård elaborated.

"Don't we always?" Vegard grinned. He sat down next to Bård and immediately both cats jumped into his lap. One of them – the fat shaggy one with the attitude – decided that his master's lap was too narrow for the both of them and deposited himself on Bård's legs.

Bård tolerated the feline for roughly two seconds before pushing it off. The cat hopped down and gave Bård a murderous glare.

"That cat is creepy," Bård declared.

"There's nothing wrong with Malvin," Vegard said. He was petting the cat in his lap – the sleek proper one – and the thing was purring like an engine.

"You could just shoot it and keep that one," Bård said and pointed at the darker cat.

Vegard looked appalled. He put his hand down and the shaggy orange cat came to bump its head against it. Vegard scratched it behind the ears and it lay down happily, covering Vegard's bare feet.

"I like my cats. Both of them," Vegard said, hinting that the conversation was over. Bård sipped his drink.

"So have you been outside today?" Bård asked.

"What?"

"Have you?"

"Well no. How's that relevant to anything?"

“Just saying.” Bård took another sip of his Pepsi.

The brothers sat together in silence for a moment. The only sound was the loud purring coming from Vegard's lap.

“You know, you're almost like a crazy cat lady!” Bård said and laughed. He could almost imagine Vegard with a long dress, sitting in a rocking chair and knitting with twenty cats running around.

“You already have nothing but your cats, might as well get a dozen more!”

Bård giggled and turned to look at Vegard. The mental image was so funny, but Vegard did not seem amused.

“Get out.”

“What?”

“Get out!”

Vegard stood up, forcing Geir to jump down from his lap and Malvin to hop off his feet. Bård was stunned by the strong reaction.

“Vegard, what the hell? I was kidding!”

“Get out.” This time it was almost a whisper.

Bård stood up and looked at his brother. Vegard avoided Bård's eyes but it was clear that he was close to tears. That was when Bård realised he had unwittingly hit a very sensitive spot.

“Hey come on, it was just a joke.”

Vegard didn't say anything. For a moment, Bård stood there, unsure what to do. One of the cats was rubbing its side against Bård's leg. Bård reached over and punched Vegard in the shoulder.

“Leave me alone,” Vegard muttered.

Bård stepped closer and gave his brother a shove. Vegard was pushed off balance and he grabbed Bård's hand to keep from falling down. Bård could've easily held them up, but one of the cats – the orange nightmare creature – was still by his legs and Bård had to choose between falling down or stepping on the cat.

Both brothers tumbled to the floor in a heap. Bård's fall was luckily broken by his brother's body. Vegard tried to squirm out from under Bård, but the younger brother held him still.

“You're not really a crazy cat lady,” Bård said, tone mocking but words sincere. Vegard turned his head to avoid Bård's gaze.

Bård was about to say something, possibly making the situation worse, but then the orange animal from hell bit his toes. Bård howled in pain.

“Oww, what the hell! Vegard, that thing bit me!”

“Malvin, don't bite uncle Bård.”

Bård glared at his brother, still lying under him. He knew he should probably get up, but something made him linger. He looked into Vegard's dark eyes. Bård didn't go around spouting nonsense like being able to see someone's feelings in their eyes, but he had to admit that there was something in the brown depths that made him realise he had really hurt his brother with his careless words.

Bård slapped Vegard's head gently and stood up. He turned around, narrowly avoided stepping on the dark brown cat and made his way back to the sofa.

Vegard followed his brother's example. He sat down next to Bård and waited for Geir to take his place in his lap. Malvin had disappeared somewhere.

“Can you get rabies from cats?” Bård asked and grabbed his drink.

“No.”

“Look, there's blood!” Bård removed his sock and pointed at his toes.

Vegard leaned over to look at the indicated foot.

“That's just a scratch!”

“But it hurts like hell,” Bård pulled on his best everyone-feel-sorry-for-me face and blinked his eyes. Vegard tried very hard not to smile.

“Wanna watch a movie or something?” Vegard asked, shaking his empty can.

“Yeah sure,” Bård said and lifted his feet on the sofa table. No way he was getting bitten by one of those bloodthirsty creatures again.

One movie turned into three and the night was getting darker. Bård started nodding off, eyelids getting heavier and the world around him fading away. He was only half conscious of what he was doing. He leaned towards the side, resting against something warm and sturdy. He lifted his legs on the sofa and pushed into the warmth.

As Bård's body left the space it had been occupying in favour of leaning against Vegard, the cats immediately sensed a warm spot on the sofa. Both animals jumped on it and crowded the space, rubbing against Bård's feet.

Bård felt something near his feet and awakened enough to open one eye and look to the end of the couch. The cats were there, dangerously near his feet. Bård's first urge was to kick the creatures away before they ate what was left of his poor toes, but he stopped himself. The hurt on Vegard's face was too fresh in his mind.

Bård could see why his brother had been so upset: he really did have no one in his life apart from the felines. Bård felt slightly sorry for his brother. He wouldn't ever tell him that, but maybe he did sometimes worry. So if the cats brought him companionship and something to love, Bård would let them stay. But if they bit him again, all hell would break loose.

Satisfied with his decision to leave Malvin and Geir alone, Bård snuggled closer to Vegard's side. Bård didn't know how long his brother had been asleep, but he was warm and comfortable. Bård gave into sleep and let his mind escape. He definitely didn't find it pleasing to have something incredibly soft and warm sit on his feet, not at all.

Soon purring was the only sound in the night.


End file.
